timtampon:

timtampon:

I was talking to my friend on the phone and then she almost got run over and i was obviously really concerned so i asked her if she was okay and after a moment she replied “there is a Jesus in the sky” in a really matter-of-fact sort of way
so obviously I thought something was seriously wrong butimage

omg please don’t bring this back
People are converting because of this post and I’m actually Jewish oh god I fucked up

(via thebesthauryski)

Anonymous asked:

What's the most illegal thing you ever did?

Seeking Everything. Answer:

almanzapedia:

At Stanford there was this Professor who was a total bitch and she taught British Literature, which was cool. Except she taught only her opinions of the books and it didn’t help me as a writer. I went to school to learn new things to improve my craft, not have someone else’s opinions carved onto my forehead.

So anyway, for our final project, she asked us to write a ten page paper on why the color symbolism in Othello was so significant. I did some research and it turned out that she did her entire graduate thesis on this very subject. I was mad. This wasn’t teaching, this was boosting her ego. SO I wrote a ten page essay on why color symbolism in Othello wasn’t significant, satirizing it to the point of no return, saying that her opinion was an opinion and shouldn’t be taken seriously.

SHe failed me, needless to say. So in retaliation, I responded by baking a batch of brownies laced with weed and laxatives and delivered them myself to the professor hours before her big graduation speech. I told her that it was a peace offering, my way of apologizing and asking if I could do anything to fix my grade.

She refused to fix my grade.

In the end, she shit herself on stage.

I didn’t regret it.

angelsneedlovetoo:


philosophicalnerdfighter:

feffiloceraptor:

padablogger:

oswinsdream:

piertotum-locomottor:

itskathybabe:

eatsleepcrap:

The family business…

IS THAT ADAM IN THE CAGE

I bet John is a zero coke because that’s the number of fucks he gave about his children.

oh look, they’re all empty inside

WAS THAT NECESSARY

I am dead at Adam.

Also, Adam isn’t empty! Also, I like how Sams name is the same color as johns because he was always more like their dad but deans name is white with red around it because he always tried to be like their dad but never really was.

next on psychoanalyzing coke bottles

angelsneedlovetoo:

philosophicalnerdfighter:

feffiloceraptor:

padablogger:

oswinsdream:

piertotum-locomottor:

itskathybabe:

eatsleepcrap:

The family business…

IS THAT ADAM IN THE CAGE

I bet John is a zero coke because that’s the number of fucks he gave about his children.

oh look, they’re all empty inside

WAS THAT NECESSARY

I am dead at Adam.

Also, Adam isn’t empty! Also, I like how Sams name is the same color as johns because he was always more like their dad but deans name is white with red around it because he always tried to be like their dad but never really was.

next on psychoanalyzing coke bottles

(via thebesthauryski)

sweet-bitsy:

the-goddamazon:

babybutta:

parkingstrange:

giant-tic-tac:

liqhters:

My best friend sent me this tutorial of her doing her eyebrows and I thought you all would find it useful xoxo

Im dead

this is amazing

This is me all f*cking day.

LOLOLOLOLOL

ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE YA, ACCORDING TO MILEY CYRUS AND HER CLASSIC HIT SINGLE “NOBODY’S PERFECT”

(via thebesthauryski)